We Bought a House — And Learned a Lot Doing It

How we found the right home for our real life—not just the one we dreamed about.

I want to start this post by saying: my wife and I moved into our first home this past year, and it’s been amazing. Not perfect—more on that later—but amazing. The path here wasn’t linear. It was full of twists, turns, and a lot of Zillow deep-dives. But somehow, we landed the perfect starter home for our new family. It’s the bridge between our old life as DINKs and our new life as first-time parents.

We’ve always loved house hunting. I mean loved. We’re the couple who watches House Hunters and laughs at people making $30K a year trying to buy million-dollar homes. We walk our neighborhood and nearby towns just to look at houses, judge them, and dream. So when it came time to actually buy a place, we thought we were pros.

Turns out, we were pretty superficial.

We toured over 25 homes in a year and a half. Some were beautiful but way out of budget. Some were affordable but absolute disasters. A few were “almost perfect” but missing something critical for our family. And then there were the ones that were just flat-out terrible—homes we couldn't believe anyone actually bought.

Along the way, we learned a few lessons. Here are the biggest ones:

1. Buy for the life you actually live—not the one you aspire to live.

If you commute every day, don’t buy a house 90 minutes away because it has a “home office” you’ll barely use. Skip the fancy wine bar if you’re drinking Bud Light. Forget the double rain shower if you’re more of a 5-minute-rinse-and-go person.

Instead, focus on the things you’ll use daily. For us, that meant a great showerhead (with water pressure that actually hits), a fridge with an auto-fill pitcher (we drink a ton of water), and a deep sink for washing bottles and produce. Those “small” details bring us joy every single day—far more than a pool with a lazy river ever could.

2. Get real about your trade-offs.

We started out looking well below our max budget—and most of those homes were unlivable or needed major repairs. We had a wish list a mile long, but quickly figured out which were true must-haves versus nice-to-haves.

For us, that meant:

• A small yard

• Enough space for an office

• Room for the baby to grow into
  

And it also meant keeping an eye out for dealbreakers. One of ours was a lack of functional layout. We saw some really charming homes that just didn’t make sense once we pictured life with a crawling toddler—or having to gut-renovate before even moving in. Your dealbreaker might be different. Maybe it’s ceiling height. Maybe it’s 10 year old carpet. Just make sure you know what you can and can’t live with, along with what you can easily fix vs what you can’t.

3. It’s dangerous to go alone – take an inspector

As first-time buyers, there’s a ton you don’t know. Bring someone with you who’s done it before. The inspection is critical, especially for stuff you’ve never dealt with before—like HVAC, mold, or drainage issues. One bad surprise after closing can turn your “dream home” into a money pit.

We had a few close calls where something just felt off. Trust your gut. If it seems like a rushed flip, or something smells weird, it’s probably a red flag—and walking away could save you $15K and a lot of heartache.

4. Your first home doesn’t have to be your forever home—but it should be a launchpad.

This home isn’t necessarily our dream house. But it’s the right house. It gave us space to grow into parenthood, live comfortably, and stay in a good school district. It’s not huge, but it’s functional. We gave up a big yard and a wide-open floor plan, but we enough space to entertain, some walkability, and enough bedrooms to grow into (along with amazing water pressure). And when we found it? It had been sitting on the market for a while. We negotiated a rate buydown and got in right at the top of our budget—but with a long-term win in return.

The beauty of a good “starter” home is that it doesn’t just get you in the game—it sets you up for what’s next.

TL;DR

• Buy for your actual life, not your ideal one.

• Be honest about your must-haves—and your dealbreakers.

• Don’t skimp on the inspection.

• You don’t need a forever home—you need a foundation.

Our home isn’t perfect. Sometimes I wish we had more closets or another 100 sq feet of space on the main floor. But we love it. We love the life it supports. And we’re so glad we made the leap.

If you’re house hunting right now—I hope this helps you make a choice you’ll love every day, not just on closing day.